.... ......... ...:::.

About this journal
I may or may not use this. Mostly for keeping in touch with my Bri. :)

December 2010
      1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30 31

  Viewing 0 - 3  
iRON ORR [userpic]
I want to be somebody in this life...

My perspectve of my life isnt very healthy...

Right now, I very much despize my workplace. Ive subscribed via RSS feeds to many people/companies in the same indystry that Im in, and would more like it to be at a place like that. Gleeming examples of creativity, totally surrounded my creative masterminds, with exciting perspectives on life, all very so happy to be, not working...but having fun while at work. Unburdened by ahole management, not having ahole coworkers belittling you, and not being thought as a uneducated peon with no clue on how to do their skilltrade...

Im tired of yrying to prove myself to these aholes. Im tired of this daily undermining others do to me to only make themselves look better. That happens a lot give these coworkers an inch, and they will literally make you feel like dirt...

All this shit Ive been given for these 6years do have a terrible impact too. "sticks and stones..." Many ppl day that saying, and Ill lay a $50 on anyones table who can say that without lying. Words hurt...they really hurt. Especially when they come from those who are in a leadership role in your life. Its been so longe since any possitive reinforcement, that I feel as worthless as they make it out to be. A low selfesteem.

Look, Im an adult man. When youre workng for a literal living, your job is practically your life. Tge majority of your waking hours are spent at work. For men especially, the sence of accomplishment will largely come from your performance at work. Sorry ladies, it's tge man's world. It's how we operate. It's how we evaluate each other. Romantic, isnt it?

What's usually tye first thing us men ask each other when we meet for the first time?

"where do you work?"

Its a souce of energy for us males...we're simply energized when we do a great job at work! how do you think we feel when we fail at something. Every. Single. Day...?

Thank God He's on my side. He and Brianne, and loved ones have been my support group lately. They know the truth, and I can see it too when I calm down. I do possess an incredible amout of knowledge of my craft. I have the experience and skill to produce and capture images near of that of masters. But, reverse to what I said earlier about us guys on our work performances...or at least. The tiranical lies Im told nearly every time i go to work. How does it feel to be told that u sux buy people of leadership?

Rant end...

iRON ORR [userpic]
A thought on my new marrage and my hatred on our overworked mindset

A thought I had a while back...

"There's nothing worse then the lack of time one has to spend with a spouse...quickly get up from bed (sleeping in makes it worse) to quickly get ready for work, go to work where you spend the most of your non-sleeping hours 5 days a week, then come home to vigorously try to make up the time, only to feel exhausted from the day, to which you go to bed, and lay unconsciencely beside the love of your life...

If I could, I would rather devote my better time of the day with Brianne :) "

Thats my take on things. Yes of course, we must work. In the beginning, even before sin, God intended for us to work (our original job was to take care of the garden of eden). But Im sure it wasnt intended to eclipse and overtake our stress and hamper our marrages and love.

My priorities are different from society's, but to live in this God-forsaken area, I must struggle for my earnings, no matter how small and disporportionate it may be...

iRON ORR [userpic]
My thoughts on Islam

I had a very passionate descussion with a person who will remain unknown to you, but here was my last reply to them...

"Okay, so I guess we have deduced (kinda) that any "extreme" version of Islam (kill jews and christians) and Christianity (burn their books) isn't the way to go, and in fact, hurts/sabotages it's true meanings and teachings. We all except this, become "tolerant" of it all, and gain somekind of peace. "Dont bother us, and we wont bother you" kind of mentality.

Which, unfortunately, results in the cataclismic and horrendous end to these people when Christ comes again. For Jesus to only find a certain group of people who not only do not believe in Him, but are apauled at the thought of god having a son.

Which is worse? "

Although you are only seeing a small and incomplete portion of our conversation, you may imagine our convo anywa you like.

  Viewing 0 - 3